28 February 2009

17 February 2009

Blank

Spending my valentines day at home diggin' up some cold desserts doesn't really bothered me at all. That particular day may seem to be so significant for some but for me, there's nothing too special about it. Hmm,maybe because I haven't found that someone to spend it will. Well, actually I'm having a serious matter to deal with right now. Though it looks like I am not taking things seriously,.. but well,..just like any other person there,.. inside... I am terribly bothered.
I'm kinda upset with all the things that I've done in the past few months. I know, I should have done better. Well, too late I guess to sort out my excuses. Then,ofcourse I have to deal with the consequences. And this time, it's kinda tough.
As I continue to do the things that I thought would be better, slowly... my perspectives blinded me. So, inshort, I am now in a great trouble. Such things are too much too handle. I really need some help. I really do. In a blink of an eye, everything will be gone within my grasp. And I never wanted to start all over again from scratch.
I'm tired... Need Help...

08 February 2009

moving

I don’t know where it came from, but the idea just got into my mind. A part of me wants to move from home. But not because I’m not in good terms with my mom, it’s just that in a way I wanted to take things on my own. It is no doubt that I am not getting any younger. Some girls at my age have already kids / family. But it’s not what I wanted for now. I have so many things to do on my list. And those stuffs are the one that I wanted to prioritize. As a person, I wanted to prove something and do things that I actually wanted to pursue. Although, I admit, at this very moment of my life, I am still searching for that particular concept that will trigger me to keep in track.
Well, though I don't know where to start. I will keep this proposal for myself. And I'm gonna be working on it as much as possible. Living on your own is just a real pain in the ass. But as I think of that idea, I guess it would be better for me. I have to be independent. But first, I have to settle so many things right now. After that, I can start something for myself.