Monster Madness

While I was busy doing a lot of stuffs last night, ( cleaning clutters in my room, finishing the scrap book, etc.) My dear MONSTER buzz me in at ym so we had a little chit chat. Its been a while since the last time we've talked. Hmm, I think the last time is when he was sick, unfortunately... he's still not well...SIGH...

Well, I admit that I've missed him that much that's why I took my time off doing my chores. hehehe... The conversation went good and ofcourse, there are some arguments as well. It's part of it anyway. Then, the topic went over the monster doll that I had on my friendster account. He thought that it was mine and he says it was nice. Hmm, well I told him that its not really mine and I just grab the photo from the net. I know, I kinda disappoint him again with that though he doesn't admit it. Actually, I'm really planning to buy one but as of now, I can't find the perfect monster for myself. When I told him the story behind that,he asked me why not make my own. Duh!

We ended the conversation on the net after a couple of minutes. I told him that I miss having that kind of conversation. He asked me to call him once he was done.I would really love to call him, though I refuse and delivered a lot of excuses. I find a little awkward to call him while he was still in the streets but he told it ain't a big deal. I really want to call, but I just don't wanna intrude him in anything that he's into. I really don't know why I keep obeying everything that he says. He instructs me to call him 5mins after he logged out.

It's around 11:35pm I guess,.. when we finally talked over the phone. Hmm, no doubt, he is still sick. It was very obvious in his voice but a lot better than the last time. Gee! I really miss that MONSTER... I don't why there's a part of me that make me stick with him. And yet the other half really wants him out of my crooked mind. I had a great time talking to him last night though he's been coughing most of time. SIGH... He told me that he was reading one of Haruki's novel,.. the Norwegian Wood. I haven't read any of Haruki's books, but I've heard of The Wind Up Bird Chronicle. That MONSTER really amuses me everytime. And that what makes me hate myself more. His battery got low that's why the talk have ended without saying any goodbyes and goodnights. Well, anyway, that's how things should be. After all I should never make any wrong moves this time. I would rather keep things as it as and not to make stuffs complicated.

The good thing is, he gave me very good idea about the monster doll. I guess it would be a lot better if I will make my own. Sounds like I have a new project to make or another hell to deal with this coming year. Hehehe... Now I need to bring on the needles and threads as well as all the scraps...

Merikurisumasu

It's christmas...and it's so cold today...Maybe it's His way of pouring all His blessings. There are certain rain showers the whole day. The weather seems to be so good for me to write a lot of stuffs that happened today and it the past few days but I feel so lazy doing it. hmmm.... I think I'll do it some other time. I'll just have to enjoy the rest of my vacation. YAHOO!!!

A Wacky Xmas Pic with Issa

Coffee Mugs Galore-The Gifts

Hugo Boss Perfume and A.Carusso Hanky

with Dora and a kikay kit from my boss

Ang Makukulets na Cousins

Wake Me Up When DECEMBER Ends

PRESENT:

>Whew! Its been a while... who would have thought that 2008 will be ending so soon. SIGH... I've been busy this month. And its just tonight that I've realized that I really had forgotten to do a lot of things. Well, there's only 3 days left and its CHRISTMAS. Still not done in buying gifts. I have no idea what to give to my mom, she seems to have everything. Gee!

Aside from the holiday rush, I've been getting to annoyed about this year end thingy at the work place because obviously, there's a lot of work to be done and need to be finished before december ends. ( so help me GOD! ) The pressure is on! And I'm getting to annoyed with it. I hope to finish it or else... or else...I will be working when everybody is already enjoying the warmth of their home during vacation. CURSE! So, I need to stay up late tonight.

Now what?!?!? I've been absent already in SIMBANG GABI... so I will never had the chance to make my wish come true as they say. SIGH...

PAST:

>Been partying a lot this month... Attended two company christmas party and a birthday. Been drinking a lot also. OOOOPPSSS! Bad Cheetah! Luckly, my tummy knows how to handle each situations. hehehe... Thank God for the LACTOBACILLUS! It helps me maintain everything under control, my control... But then I know that things will not gonna stay as good as it is. So, I have my back up just in case. LOL!

>Initial plan is to visit Metropolitan, but because of some sort of unintentional activities. Still haven't gone there. Also, haven't seen Thinman. I've cancelled my appointment with him last December 8. And up to now, I haven't resched it yet.

>The weather had been quite bad in the early weeks of December. But I love it. It sets my TWILIGHT mood. Just imagining I am in the rainy town of Forks... I love Edward... SIGH

>My monster had been ill. SIGH... He is sick. SIGH... Do I need to say more? SIGH...

FUTURE:

>More parties to come... a trip to Tagaytay maybe...

>Exhausted and Broke...SIGH... MESSED UP again...

Semi Sumpong

Medyo sinumpong na naman ako ng katopakan ngayong gabi. hehehe...Wala na naman sa katinuan. Mahirap talaga kapag nababasa ng ulan e. Sa totoo lang marami pa akong gagawin na trabaho ngayon kaya lang medyo nasusuka na ako sa mga as built plans namin sa office. Plano ko sanang magsoundtrip muna ngayong gabi at matulog agad para relax,mag gain ng energy dahil halos LINGGO LANG ANG PAHINGA. E ang kaso, may sumpong ako ngayon kaya eto. Blog blog muna...

Nag-cancel na ako ng account sa TAGGED. Matagal ko na talagang gustong i-cancel ang account ko don kaya lang medyo nanghihinayang lang ako sa layout ko. Hehehe. Pero ngayon na-cancel ko na ng tuluyan. Naisip ko kasing napaka NONSENSE na nang account na yon. Isa pa, napaka NONSENSE din ng mga tao don. Wala na rin akong masyadong panahon sa mga ganung bagay.

Hay... Ano kaya gagawin ko? Matutulog na o mag dedesign pa? Kaya lang bukas sunday na, dapat may matapos man lang ako. SHIT! PAKING SHET!!! Hirap a? Naninibago ata ako a pagbabanat ng buto ngayon. Talagang seryoso 'tong napasok ko this time. Pero no choice, darating at darating na kailangan ko talagang ma-experience ang ganitong bagay dahil ito ang REALITY ng buhay ko.

Hay... Sana mapanuod ko ang twilight. Pero sino naman ang kasama ko? Imposible na si Pako dahil drawing yun at pa yun sa pang chichix nya ngayon. Si Empot, mas lalong imposible dahil mahirap pa yun sa daga. Napakamalas ko naman pag dating sa ganitong pagkakataon.

gradual

I’ve been facing a lot of changes in my life right now. And because of that, I’m still at the period wherein I need to do a lot of adjustments. Everything seems to turn out right. I guess… I hope… In the past few days, I suddenly felt like giving up (again) * LOSER/EMO MODE… But then I finally regain my hope back in my shoe again and decided to take another step forward. Well, this is the life that I chose. I have to deal with it and I have to PROVE something. My current job really making me exhausted but I’m kinda starting to appreciate every part of it. I’m learning a lot of things on the people I’ve meet every day and even on the task that is being assigned on me. I hope to finish those just in time. Anyway the only thing that bothers me now is my health. I can sense that it would be the only thing that will HINDER me to do things.

Kapag Ako'y Tinopak

Ang isip ko ngayon ay kasing gulo ng gamit sa mesa ko. Dahil dito, umabsent muna ako sa trabaho. Syempre naka plano na ang lahat, bago pa lang ako umuwi mula sa office kagabi. Ang dami kong gagawin na mga plano sa totoo lang. Deadline ko bukas kaya mas pinili kong paglamayan ito kagabi at buong maghapon ngayon. E bakit ba hindi ko pa sa office tinatapos ang trabaho ko? Hay... ewan... Minsan kasi kailangan ko rin ng ibang surroundings. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ugali ko na masyadong mainipin sa trabaho. Gusto ko palaging may ibang ginagawa, may ibang nakikita, may bago sa paningin. Kapag natutunan ko na ang logic ng mga bagay, nagsasawa na ako. Lalo na kung nagiging routine na ang lahat. Yari ka! Inshort, sumpong na naman ang katopakan ko sa buhay. Isang bahagi na naman ng pagkatao ko ang naiinip at naghahanap ng ibang timpla ng buhay. Shit! Wag sanang lumala ang topak ko. Hay!

Hindi ako, at hindi sya...

Anung meron at bakit bigla na lang nagbago ang lahat? Hindi ko rin talaga alam kung ano ang nangyari e. Basta, nangyari na lang. Para bang bigla na lang akong nawalan ng gana sa taong yon. Although, pinipilit ko pa ring magpakita ng concern sa kanya kahit paano. Alam ko kasing kailangan nya yon. Kailangang nyang malaman na mahalaga sya at importante sya lalo na sa akin. Kaya lang, sa di ko maipaliwanag na pangyayari, nakaramdam ako ng pagkapagod sa ginagawa ko. Para kasi akong nakikipag usap sa hangin. Nakikipaghabulan sa kidlat. At nagmamahal ng isang bato.

Gustong gusto kong iparamdam sa kanya kung gaano sya ka-special sa buhay ko kahit walang kapalit. Kaya lang, namamanhid na rin ata ako. Totoo palang nagbabago rin ang lahat. Katulad nga ng nasabi ko, hindi ko kailangan ng kapalit. Sana man lang kahit konting appreciation. Alam kong mahirap syang intindihin. Kaya nga ginagawa ko ang lahat para maintindihan sya. Pero hindi ko pala kaya. Sumusuko na ako kasi talagang pagod na ako. Sa isang iglap lang nawala ang lahat. Ganon lang kabilis. Ganon lang pala. Ni hindi ko man lang nalaman kung ano ako sa buhay nya. Gusto kong tulungan ang special monster ko, kaya lang mukhang hindi ako ang kailangan nya, at mukhang hindi ako makakatulong sa kanya.

Mukhang yun na lang yun...Kasing lamig na ng simoy ng hangin ang pakikitungo namin ngayon sa isa't isa.